Icarus
by Light My Words
Summary: "Is this really hard for you?" She asked, voice teetering on desperation. "Because all I want to do is actually be able to touch you and I can't because you live on the other side of the damn country." An unexpected conversation with a stranger over an online dating site late one night turns into so much more than anyone anticipated.
1. Valentino

If there was one thing Jane Rizzoli didn't like, it was to be pushed. Pushed into closing a case before it felt right, pushed into cleaning her apartment when her mother came around, pushed into eating healthy food and wearing nice dresses. Mostly though, she hated being pushed into dating, which was unfortunate because it seemed to be her mother's preferred pass-time, and the woman seemed to have an uncanny ability to get her into these situations without her knowing until it was too late. It had gotten to a point where she could no longer count the blind dates and set-ups on both hands. It had always been particularly irritating, but at the end of the night she'd been able to walk away and go home to her cluttered apartment and forget about it. However this time, Angela Rizzoli had pushed a little too far.

It had snuck up on her which frustrated Jane even more. She wasn't even aware her mother could turn on a computer, let alone set up a profile on an online dating site with an ancient photo of her daughter wearing a mid-thigh length dress and a begrudging smile. And worse – she hadn't known about it until she by chance checked the personal email address she rarely used and found a plethora of notifications from a site called 'Mingle'. She'd thought they were spam and had started deleting them until she accidently opened one and was greeted with her profile picture and her name and a red bubble to the right of the screen letting her know she had 34 private messages. While the amount of interest she had drummed up unknowingly was a fine ego boost, it was quickly overrun with anger at having her life overrun by her mother yet again.

At first she'd considered calling her mother, because while she may not be computer literate, Jane had no doubt that this was her handy work. A quick glance at the time let her know it was too late, regardless of how furious she was. So she'd shimmied from her well-worn black slacks and removed her bra from under her shirt, tossing them in the general direction of the bedroom on her way to the fridge. Grabbing a beer, she made her way back to the sofa and sat guiltily in front of her laptop for a little self-indulgence. There was no harm in looking through the potential suitors that had obviously found some interest in her. As if somehow understanding what Jane was about to do, Jo-Friday let out a yelp and leaped around the sofa a few times.

"This is strictly between you and me," the brunette declared to the terrier as she hit 'forgotten password' on the site she'd been unwittingly signed up to. "We can't indulge or encourage Ma at all." Jo-Friday yelped again and jumped up onto the sofa, circling three times before curling up with her head on Jane's knee. She was halfway through her beer by time she'd signed in and deleted the first five messages from obscenely boring men. She cocked a brow at the next message, her mouse hovering over the small square photo of a woman around her age, with blonde curled locks and almond shaped topaz eyes. Obviously, Angela Rizzoli had, in her haste, forgotten to select gender preference when signing her daughter up.

Her mouse hovered for a second while she contemplated sending it to the trash with the others. The little display image was endearingly innocent and the woman was undoubtedly attractive, and it's not like she hadn't thought about it once or twice in her lifetime. Her finger lingered on the delete button for a moment before opting to open the message. Unlike the others she'd glanced over, this one was extremely short and consisted of very few words.

_'That dress looks absolutely beautiful on you, is it a Valentino?'_

For a moment, Jane sat confused. Was this meant to be more of an expression of interest at the dress or at Jane herself? Did this woman want to purchase the dress? Because Jane wasn't entirely sure she even still owned it. Mildly insulted that this message hadn't been another stereotypical essay full of compliments and blatant flattery, Jane hit reply. Her fingers moved over the keys of her laptop in determination, albeit a little slower than usual.

'I don't know what that is, but it sounds expensive, so probably not because I'm pretty sure that dress is from Target. Are you planning on taking back your last message due to my lack of fashion knowledge, or because the dress isn't a Valentini?'

She toyed with the wording for a little whole longer before accepting that regardless of what she wrote it was going to either feel awkward or be a lie. She hit send and grabbed her beer, wiping the condensation that had formed on the table with her sleeve. She took a swig, propping her feet up on the coffee table and tickled Jo-Friday behind the ears. There were countless hours of baseball footage saved on her DVR, and she planned on burning a decent hole through it tonight.

The television screen lit up and Jane leaned back with a sigh of contentment. She was so relaxed and so intrigued in the game flashing on her screen, she almost fell from the couch in horror when her computer buzzed an odd little jingle and the screen lit back up. The red bubble on her screen was flashing again, indicating a new message. Hesitantly she clicked on it and found another message from the woman earlier. Gulping down the rest of her beer, she opened the message and flickered her eyes over the words there.

_'It's Valentino and they can be rather expensive I suppose – definitely not purchasable at Target. Valentino Garavani is an Italian born fashion designer who had his first major break through in Florence. He's famous for his R.E.D Valentino, a line of flawless red dresses, however I'm a fan of his underrated black garments. Elizabeth Taylor was a huge advocate for his work."_

There was a pause after the message came up in her inbox and Jane frowned until the text down the bottom of the screen informed her that the other woman was still typing.

_"Regardless of your lack of knowledge in fashion and the beauty that is hand craftsmanship, I'll retain my comment on how beautiful you look. Your profile says you're from Boston, did you attend BCU?"_

Pursing her lips, Jane hit reply with a smirk. Unlike the previous message, this one had been long-winded and full of information she'd never had an interest in knowing. In parts it had been teetering on the edge of boring, but for some reason it made her stomach flutter with something strange that almost felt like excitement. There had even been a follow-up question, which indicated that she was expecting a reply. Jane began typing before she paused. In her haste, she'd not looked at this woman's profile, and wasn't even completely certain on her name.

Clicking on her username at the top of the message, Jane waited for the page to load. She was now on the edge of the sofa, game and beer long forgotten as her eyes glanced over the screen. Her name was Maura Isles, and she was the medical examiner of San Francisco. Her mother had undoubtedly signed her up to this site in an effort to swing her away from her work life and into marriage and child bearing, and yet the only person she'd taken a remote interest in so far was a woman who just so happened to be in the same nightmarish field of work Jane was. The brunette wondered briefly if this was enough punishment for her Ma, or if she needed something a little more to make sure this sort of interference in her life was inflicted for once onto one of her brothers instead.

Flicking back to her message, she continued typing. It didn't seem entirely right, to know all about her just yet. It was too much like reading the end results of a game before watching it, which seemed to defeat the purpose.

Maura had asked about BCU, which was slowly becoming a bigger and bigger insecurity of Jane's, and was the only part of her reply that she hesitated on. It hadn't seemed like such a big deal when she was younger, and the decision to abandon College for a career in the police force had been purely for the benefit of her family – which now seemed moot, as her father had turned out to be a low life that perhaps should be drowning in her College debt. After a moment of inner turmoil, she decided on honesty, and replied that while she had been accepted to the prestigious university; she had declined, as her family couldn't afford it. She finished by asking what College Maura had attended, and hit send.

It had taken her longer than she thought to reply to the message, and when she glanced at the clock she was surprised to find it past midnight. Closing her laptop under the presumption that the doctor would be asleep, Jane headed off to bed, the image of a smiling Maura with loose curls and bright eyes locked firmly in her mind.


	2. Gaultier

Firstly, I'd just like the thank everyone for the surprising amount of interest in the story so far. I have a faint outline for where I'd like to take it, and pledge to upload a new chapter every Sunday afternoon EST. As always - comments are more than welcome and have a tendency to fuel my muse.

* * *

It had been two weeks since the initial fury of having being signed up to a dating site without consent. It had also been two weeks since her first email from Maura. Over the fourteen days their dynamic had changed from hesitant emails, to consistent bantering messages, to frequent IM's discussing benign things like what they planned on for dinner and whether the murder rate was higher in Boston or San Francisco – which of course Maura had the answer to. Jane had even downloaded the app on her phone so she didn't have to be in front of a computer to chat with the quirky medical examiner.

It had been so strange, how quickly they'd gotten to know each other and fall into a rhythm of easy conversation – of course it hadn't progressed past instant messages, and for some reason anything more made Jane's stomach flutter with nerves. But over the past few days she couldn't help but image what Maura sounded like. Of course she hadn't acted on it, but it had been so awfully tempting that she'd spent too much time deleting and re-writing texts suggesting a phone call or video chat. It was out of character for the ballsy detective to say the least, and fortunately the message from Maura that night had said exactly what Jane had been trying to these past few days.

_'While I enjoy these messages, I can't help but wonder what you sound like. Is it too forward to request calling you tonight?'_

That was it. Jane's stomach was doing leaps and twisting itself into knots at the prospect of hearing the blonde's voice for the first time. It was one thing to be rejected after a first date, but the possibility of being rejected after having gotten to know the person, well that thought was down right nauseating. It was entirely unnerving and exciting, and for the first time in what felt like forever, she was considering putting on a little mascara and reconsidering her outfit. With lingering hesitation, Jane replied with a simple 'that'd be nice'.

That evening, Jane sat down on the sofa and opened her laptop. She was already one beer in, which was unusual for a quiet Tuesday night. The television was on low in the background, because she'd decided when Maura called, she was going to try look like she hadn't been waiting in anticipation all day. The Medical Examiner was online, and Jane had to wonder if she'd been experiencing the same nauseating nerves that she was.

The shrill ring was both expected and unexpected, and it made Jane jump. They'd decided on 9pm, which Jane had loosely interpreted as anywhere between 9pm and 9.40pm, but apparently Maura was a big fan of punctuality. It took her a second to swallow her mouthful and click answer. At first all she saw was a pixilated blonde, but as the image slowly came into focus, she felt the lump in her throat shrink. Maura Isles looked every bit as real as her profile image, and the doctor was wearing an easy smile as she played around with the settings of her laptop. Jane cleared her throat and pushed unruly curls behind her ears, suddenly feeling very small in comparison to a woman who was almost half a foot shorter than her, which was ridiculous.

Maura spoke first, her voice smooth and calm. "It's really good to finally see you. Statistically 38% of people that join online dating sites either use ancient pictures of them in their prime, or images of someone else all together to draw interest. Obviously the fatal flaw in that is if it ever progresses past instant messages, there is a lot left to be explained. It's nice to know you look very much like I imagined."

The little ramble made Jane smile, actually genuinely smile, and Maura laughed. "Although your smile looks better in person, more natural and not so begrudged."

"You imagined me?" The brunette teased, feeling enormously more relaxed and at ease than she had all day.

"Well of course I did. You didn't imagine what I'd be like?" Maura replied, seemingly confused by the amusement in Jane's tone.

"I suppose I did."

"And?"

Jane smiled, readjusting herself on the sofa. "You definitely live up to every expectation."

They spoke for longer than either of them had anticipated, and Jane found she was learning a lot about the woman on her screen and sharing a lot about herself in return. She didn't look much like a Medical Examiner, but it was something that had interested her from a young age – which admittedly was weird – but she was good at what she did and never second-guessed her career choice. For Jane it was nice to be able to discuss what she saw and dealt with on a daily basis, with someone who not only understood the terror, but also the stress of dealing with a male dominated environment. While she shared the burden with the boys at work, she never really got the chance to _share_. With Maura it was easy, because while they didn't work on the same cases, they saw the same general inhumanity and horror every day.

Half way through the evening they'd both relocated to their respective bedrooms, and had taken a moment to get changed from business clothes to appropriate sleepwear. When Jane returned, she found Maura asleep, head resting on delicate arms in front of her computer. She was lying above the covers of a very expensive looking bed, and from the angle her screen was pointed, Jane was afforded a glance at the length of her body. The doctor was dressed in silky looking pyjamas, but because her arms were pulled above her head to act as a cushion, Jane could see a sliver of perfect alabaster skin around her lower back. She supposed she should end the call or at least look away, but she didn't want to come across as rude by just hanging up without saying goodbye. Not to mention the sudden overwhelming urge she had to wrap the blonde in covers, or worse, her arms.

Jane had never really imagined a life or relationship with another woman. It had always been expected of her to find a nice man and get married. Never once had anything else been suggested, and Jane had – however narrow-minded it was – just accepted it. Now though, with Maura, the thought was present and extremely enticing, although she hated to think how her mother would take the news. Angela Rizzoli loved her children, but she was also a devout catholic who seemed to have more of an issue with the annulment of her marriage because of the religious implications on her family, rather than the actual end of her relationship. The idea of divulging anything of her new found interest in the same sex made her feel nauseated and she tried to flick the thoughts from her mind. Instead she focused on Maura and she too settled atop her blankets and rested her head on her arms. Maybe she could just pretend they fell asleep together. It was still innocent, right?

Jane awoke the next morning with a start to the sound of crunching paper. The first thought that came to mind was that someone was in her house, which weighed her fight or flight instincts heavily toward fight. It took her a moment to calm her racing heart and realize the sound was emanating from her laptop. She lifted her head from her arms, neck letting out an angry scream of protest. Jane cleared her throat and blinked a few times in an effort to focus on her bright laptop screen. Maura was perched at what looked like a breakfast bar, a newspaper obscuring most of her face and a lot more awake than Jane had left her. As if sensing something on her screen shifted, Maura lowered her newspaper and smiled her warm welcoming grin.

"Good morning," she offered softly. As Jane sat up and lifted her laptop onto her legs, Maura folded her newspaper and placed it on the bench beside her.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Jane croaked, her voice raspy and rough with sleep. She pushed her tangled hair back out of her face, positive that she looked every bit a disaster as Maura did perfect.

"I thought you might need the sleep, and you'd mentioned last night that you didn't have any plans for today. I apologise for falling asleep on you last night." She was still in those loose fitting silk pyjamas, but her hair had been brushed and her face was fresh and free of yesterdays make up.

"I guess I was kinda tired, yesterday it felt like I was never gonna get home. That's okay, I came back and you were asleep and I didn't want to seem rude by hanging up so I just left it." Jane supposed it was best to be honest, and she felt much too comfortable to feel the need to lie about it. Maura seemed content with the answer because she smiled, holding back to urge to correct the other woman's grammar.

"I'm glad you didn't hang up. It was nice to wake up to you this morning."

"I'm glad too."

They spent most of the morning in conversation, first from afar while Jane got dressed for the day - although as Maura pointed out, workout shorts and a sweatshirt could hardly count as dressed for the day – and then over breakfast and coffee. It was surprising just how much they had to talk about, and it wasn't until the last afternoon that they'd ended the call and gone their separate ways. As one of her only days off, Maura had to go grocery shopping and get herself sorted for the week to come. Jane found it surprisingly upsetting that she wasn't able to get up and meet her at the supermarket or buy her coffee, and for the first time in a long time, it frustrated her how much she felt she was missing out on.


	3. Vuitton

It's a day late and I'm sincerely sorry. If the writing is a bit pompous, I blame it on the Harry Potter marathon I've spent all weekend indulging in.

* * *

It was truly strange how quickly they'd developed their own little rituals that very few understood. At work they sent small quick messages to each other in between interviews and autopsies, discussing their day and possible solutions to lunch and the poor food served at police station cafés. At home they opened a video chat session and cooked together from their respective kitchens. Some nights they sat in front of the television and watched their own shows with very little chatter. Even without the discussion, it was comforting to feel the presence and to be able to flick eyes to their respective screens every now and then to see each other. However, it was slowly becoming apparent that they couldn't do this forever, and while a relationship could be formed via an internet connection, it was very hard to sustain it in the same way. That's why they'd agreed two weeks ago on a visit, a face to face actual visit. Jane personally couldn't decide if she was excited or on the verge of a nervous break down.

Maura had two weeks of leave that she'd put aside for a forensic pathology conference in Cambridge, and upon Jane's offer to take some time off, decided to put one of those weeks aside for a trip to Boston. It had been two months of whatever it was between them. It had been both well planned and rather hasty, but both women felt it had been a long time coming. They still hadn't put a label on their relationship, which when Jane thought about it, made her quite anxious. She wanted a relationship with the blonde medical examiner, but the logistics of the entire thing inflicted a new level of anxiety upon her. She didn't want to leave Boston - it was her home and a place where her entire family still resided. Although, on the other hand it might be easier to flee to San Francisco to save herself from the torture of trying to explain to her mother that her grand vision for her only daughter fell extremely short of expectations.

The initial nerves of the impending visit had since faded, and now Jane Rizzoli found herself completely overwhelmed by the fact that in less than two hours she was due at the airport to collect her Maura. She'd learnt within the past few months that Maura Isles was a woman of taste. Beautiful clothes, expensive wine, perfected decor. She didn't seem like the sort to drink beer from a can and devour a burger, which was unfortunate because Jane often struggled to come up with a more perfect evening. That was how the brunette found herself spending a chunk of her pay cheque on a fancy sounding wine and ingredients to a beautiful Italian recipe she'd learnt to cook when she was younger. She'd spent her first morning off making pasta from scratch, which in itself had proved frustrating enough. The urge to call her mother and have her come around to prepare dinner was strong, but that involved explaining just why she was cooking to begin with and Jane thought better of it. Fortunately for her, Maura had been very understanding about Jane's lack of intention to tell her mother about them.

Time had gotten away from her, and when she looked up from her kitchen bench and the now seamlessly rolled pasta, she almost had a heart attack. The speed at which she travelled to the airport was unrivalled. Grass, trees and the skyline blurred into one as she raced through traffic in an effort to for once, not be late. By time she made it to the arrivals board, she was pleased to find the flight from San Francisco had been delayed, which allowed the detective ten minutes to run to the bathroom and try to settle unruly curls and make sure she looked presentable.

There were certain things that had run frequently through her mind over the past few months, things that before having met Maura, never would have had a place in her imagination. She wondered what it'd be like to run the tips of her fingers over Maura's skin, how it'd feel to trace her lips over the soft alabaster expanse of her neck. Now that she may have the chance to find out, she wasn't entirely sure what to do with it or where to begin. Luckily for her, Maura wasn't as hesitant. Jane was standing by the arrivals section, hands slung in pockets as she waited nervously when Maura emerged from the corridor. Her hair was in soft curls, untouched by the six hour flight she'd just sat. Her heels echoed on the tiled floor, the _click click_ speeding as she noticed Jane and picked up her pace. As she reached the detective she bent at the knees and sat her bag on the floor before standing on tip toes to wrap her thin toned arms around the brunettes neck. Jane's arms returned the embrace before she could even tell them too, and it was better than she could have imagined, having this warm, soft beautiful woman in her arms who smelt faintly of jasmine, peaches and wild roses. When Maura pulled back, Jane allowed herself her first real glance at her medical examiners eyes. It was rewarding to finally be able to see them without the blur of pixels. Anyone who didn't look closer would say they were hazel, but Jane could see the flecks of bright topaz around her pupils.

"Can I kiss you?" It came out suddenly, her voice coarse and sharp like gravel.  
Maura smiled her lovely smile and nodded her head, "Please." And it was all she needed to close the gap and sweep her lips over the soft, flushed lips of Maura Isles. Suddenly nothing else quite mattered, however cliché it sounded.

* * *

Maura didn't seem phased by the size or lack of interior decor of Jane's apartment. When the door was opened for her, she walked through like she'd been there a thousand times, and waited for the door to be closed behind her before accepting the detective's hand in her own and allowing her to show her through. Jane was relieved, because no matter how hard she try she didn't have the time nor the funds to match Maura's house in San Francisco. The class divide between the two didn't seem to bother Maura nearly as much as it did Jane, and the blonde's cool and oblivious attitude to the differences in their lives was helping quell her anxiety.  
Maura toed her heels off at the front door, opening the height difference between the two, and Jane couldn't help the smile that spread across her face when she realised the good head difference between them. It was enormously endearing and it made her heart swell a little with a sort of happiness she never truly expected to feel.

"I was in the middle of prepping dinner before I came to get you. I thought it'd be nice to cook something for you." Jane's smile was easy and slightly lopsided as she pointed toward the pasta to accentuate her point. In all honesty, after the wine she wasn't sure she'd be able to afford a night out on the town. Maura seemed content with Jane's words and she moved toward the breakfast bar and took a seat on one of the stools opposite the self appointed chef.  
"I love Italian." Her finger brushed over the rolled pasta and Jane could have sworn her words came out a purr.  
"I'm Italian." She blurted, and Maura flickered her eyes up to meet her glance. She smiled again, this time slow and amused.  
"Oh, I know. You're definitely my favourite kind of Italian." Her tone was flirty and easy, and Jane watched as she shifted to cross her legs. It took all kinds of self restraint to not abandon dinner and shift her attention toward all those things she couldn't stop imagining. She cleared her throat, hoping it'd clear her mind the same.  
"I bought wine," because that was a safe reply and she didn't want to think about all the other things that could have left her mouth instead. "The guy at the store said it was good, so it's not my fault if you don't like it."

It turned out Maura did quite like the wine, and after a dinner they prepared together the pair sat on the sofa in front of the television, glass of wine and bottle of beer in hand. It had been nice for Jane to be able to teach the brilliant blonde something she didn't already know. They'd made a feta and spinach tortellini whose recipe Angela Rizzoli had imprinted on Jane at a young age, and while Maura was fluent in fine French cuisine, she had very little experience with Italian food. Even in the few short months she'd known the doctor, Jane had learnt very quickly that there was very little she didn't know, and to finally not only find something Maura didn't have a vast knowledge off. but that she had experience with on an intimate level was outstanding.

They'd decided on a movie, which had been a difficult task as they seemed to have very different definitions of entertainment. After much deliberation and friendly debate, they settled on a Tomb Raider movie that Maura spent picking out factual errors. Jane didn't mind because she was cuddled up to her side under a throw rug and she was allowed to rest her chin atop blonde hair and press kisses wherever she wanted. It had been entirely innocent until Maura seemingly got bored and turned her attentions to Jane instead of the television screen. There was no doubt in the doctors mind what they were to each other, and she felt they'd waited long enough. It of course took Jane by surprise, and before her brain could comprehend the full extent of what was happening, Maura Isles was straddling her, blonde curls pushed from her face. The kiss was easy and familiar, but much deeper than the one at the airport. This one was probing and meltingly delicious, and Maura's small hands were cupping her face, and Jane's reciprocated by running down her sides to the bottom of her shirt, and then back up under it. There were little moans and sighs, and Jo Friday trotted off toward her bed, sensing this was something she needn't be apart of.  
They parted momentarily when Jane lifted Maura's blouse above her head, and the blonde followed suit, tugging Jane's tank over a head of dark curls. It was so much like one of her dreams, that for a moment, she couldn't even be sure it wasn't.  
"You're beautiful, really, but I haven't..." She trailed off, unsure of how to say what she needed to. Maura seemed to understand her silence, and sat back with a comforting smile. It wasn't rejection, but more a promise for things to come.  
"It's alright, it has been an exhausting day, and honestly I'm looking forward to sleeping without the glare of a computer screen." Her voice was like honey, and she stood gracefully from, Jane's lap, who stood immediately behind her.  
"I'm just looking forward to finally being able to hold you while you sleep. And the whole clothing thing – totally optional."


	4. Ford

I'm so sorry for the absence. I've had a very busy couple of months, including a trip to America in which I married my wonderful wife and spent some time with her family. As it was pointed out by the lovely Matiky, I've completely botched time differences (oops, I'm Australian and forgot there was a difference between east &amp; west coast, but I'll be sure to include it from now on). This hasn't been edited, so all mistakes are mine. Apologies in advance if it doesn't read well, it's late here!

* * *

Their past few days together hadn't been glamorous, they had made little effort to do anything past domestic duties such as grocery shopping – which took longer than usual for Jane because Maura continuously suggested the importance of organic, locally grown produce. They'd done laundry and cooked dinner together, and Jane had even humoured the blonde with a few documentaries, even if she had fallen asleep half way through most of them. They had done nothing but everyday activities and it had been blissfully perfect, like they'd been doing it together, everyday for their entire adult lives. It had even aided in the clarification of their relationship, which had slowly moved from uncertain to unmistakable romance.

It had felt more natural than Jane would have ever anticipated, but the idea of having to explain the entire situation to her family and friends still made her feel nauseous. There wasn't a fibre in her being that expected anyone past her two brothers to fully understand and accept her newfound relationship. If there was a way she could live like this with Maura, without ever having to come clean with her family, she'd jump on it. The doctor however didn't seem to have the same concerns. While she admitted to never taking another woman home to meet her parents, she wasn't nearly as concerned about their reactions. Jane couldn't help but wish for the same ease.

Maura's final night had snuck up on them much too quickly for either of their likings, and they'd ended up spending most of the day in a mutual silence, as if the melancholy surrounding Maura's impending flight had stolen their voices. They were laying on the sofa, wrapped up in each others warmth with the television mumbling away in the background.

"I've never felt this way," Maura said quietly after a particularly long silence. "I don't even know how to describe it."

"Me either, not really anyway. I don't know what I'm going to do when you leave. It feels like you've been here forever."

"Is that a bad thing?" Maura's voice was bordering on insecure, and Jane shook her head as best she could in their current position.

"No, the complete opposite. I'm already so used to having you here, in my bed and in my life. I feel like I'll be lost when you go." It was a strange feeling, to be so reliant on another person. It made Jane almost uneasy, knowing that one person could change her life so drastically in such a short time.

"I know how you feel." Maura added quietly, leaning up to press her lips gently against the brunettes. Just the thought of not being able to kiss her detective whenever she felt like it broke her heart a little.

They rested in silence a little longer before Jane decided they couldn't spend their last night together moping around. She shifted to stand and helped a surprised Maura to her feet.

"We're going out." She declared to the questioning hazel eyes.

"Oh, okay!" Maura exclaimed, excitement peaking in her sweet voice. "What should I wear?" Came her first question, and Jane knew she shouldn't be surprised.

"Anything you'd like, you pick the restaurant." The strategy behind her decision to let Maura decide was simple. It'd ensure the beautiful woman before her would enjoy her night out, and given the blonde's taste for expensive things, it would also ensure they wouldn't run into any of Jane's family.

Jane of course was ready well before Maura and even managed to make it half way through an episode of _Monk _before the blonde finally stepped from the bedroom. Jo Friday let out a little yelp and Jane nodded in agreement, absolutely awe-struck by the loose curls and the perfect complexion of the woman in the tight fitting dark navy dress, with a plunging neckline and a slit running up her right thigh. Her tall heels clinked on the floorboard of Jane's living room, and when the brunette stood she was impressed to find they were almost the same height.

"You look stunning," she breathed out, unsure of how she was even forming words. Maura smiled her dazzling smile and took Jane's hand in hers.

"While I was getting ready, I found a restaurant called La Voile in Back Bay. Do you know of it?"

Jane nodded slowly, suddenly second-guessing her idea to go out. She had of course heard of it, and it was so far past her budget it wasn't funny.

"Great! It had a lot of really good reviews, and tonight is my treat." Maura was bubbling with excitement at the prospect of spending a night out with the woman she was very quickly falling in love with.

"Sounds good," Jane pushed open the front door and gestured for Maura to step out first. "My lady…"

* * *

It had only taken Maura a little over an hour on a first class flight to reach Washington DC. She'd spent the entire time on her laptop, trying to focus on her notes rather than wallow in the sadness that came with leaving Jane in Boston. They had said goodbye with kisses and promises of phone calls and another visit soon. Honestly, it was surprising just how much it had affected the usually composed doctor. She'd never really experienced a relationship like the one she had with Jane. She'd had sexual encounters and dwindling relationships, but the connection between her and Jane differentiated from anything she'd ever had before.

When she touched down she was surprised to find she hadn't received many messages from Jane. There was the usual text informing her that Jane had arrived to work safely, followed by a complaint on the coffee currently being served in the café. The one that buzzed through straight after those was a little longer, explaining how she already missed the blonde and wished she'd come back. Maura sent a quick reply while waiting at the baggage carousel before collecting her bags and heading toward the car hire section of the airport. While she waited, she couldn't help but acknowledge the newfound depression sitting lightly on her shoulders. Before she'd come to Boston, she hadn't fully comprehended just what she was missing out on, but now she knew, it was so glaringly in her face that it was near impossible to ignore. Usually these medical examiner conferences were one of the bigger highlights of her year, but right now all Maura Isles could think, was at least while she was in Washington DC she wouldn't have to concern herself with time differences.

The hotel she had booked turned out to be just as lovely in person as it had appeared online, which she was extremely grateful for. Her room was spotless, and the décor clean and simple, a comfortable seating area to her right and the bedroom straight ahead through a pair of French folding doors. She placed her bags down by front door and removed her laptop from her handbag. It had taken her a little while to navigate her way to the hotel, and outside the sun was already lowering beneath the horizon, decorating the sky in lovely hues of pink and orange. She'd hoped Jane would be online, but her profile said otherwise, and suddenly the doctor was at a loss of what to do. Slipping from her Louis Vuitton black and beige lace pumps, she pushed open the window and spent a little while contemplating the room service menu.

Jane's text came through not a minute later while the blonde stood at the window weighing up her options, informing Maura that unfortunately tonight she'd be stuck at work as she'd caught on the tale end of a homicide case her colleagues had been working while she was away. While it saddened Maura to know she wasn't going to get to see her Jane before she went to sleep, she understood and respected the importance of her work.

Instead of voicing her feelings, she replied with a simple 'good luck' before adding on a little lengthier message about how she was excited the hotel she was in offered Soupe de Poisson àla Rouillethat originated in Marseille, France.

Jane's reply shot back instantly, with a laughing emoticon and the suggestion of an expensive glass of red wine to go with her expensive sounding meal. It made Maura laugh as she typed back.

'Don't be silly Jane, you'd only ever pair Soupe de Poisson àla Rouille with a white wine or a rosé.'

The next morning Maura awoke with a feeling of unease residing in the pit of her stomach. The first item she reached for was her phone, which revealed not a single update from Jane all night. It was odd, but not unheard of, and Maura hoped she'd actually gotten a little rest instead of brooding over the evidence and file of her current case. Pushing herself from bed, she wrapped her silk robe around herself and padded toward the bathroom. It was bound to be a long day, and she preferred to start off fresh. While the water in the shower heated, Maura flicked on the television in the seating area for a little background noise before undressing and getting into the shower, alone for the first time in a week.

When she stepped out, the mirror was sufficiently fogged and the bathroom steamy and warm. Her hair was already beginning to curl as she walked back out to the television to catch up on the news of the day before she began getting ready. What she found playing on the screen was absolutely mortifying, and tossed her heart from her chest to her throat in an instant. She felt sick to her stomach as she watched the name 'Jane Rizzoli' flash across her screen along with the words 'fatal police shooting over night in Boston city'. Tears ran from the corners of her eyes before she could even fully comprehend what was happening. A foreign noise left her throat, somewhere between a sob and a scream, and she sunk onto the sofa, shaking hand held over her mouth as the news reporter continued speaking. Her topaz-speckled eyes were focused intently on the television, however she was having an issue with the hearing and the comprehending. Her whole mind seemed to be going into some sort of melt down that she completely ill-equipped to handle. It was so bad; she almost missed the part that mentioned that Detective Rizzoli was in critical condition at Massachusetts General Hospital.

She wasn't sure who she was supposed to contact. She didn't have numbers or contact information for any of Jane's family, nor any of her work colleagues, but there was absolutely no way she could be stuck in a conference in Washington while her girlfriend could be dying. Her stomach was twisting itself into such knots as she rushed around in an effort to get dressed and book the next available flight back to Boston that she wasn't entirely sure how she was functioning it all. It's like she'd been put on auto-pilot, because while she was moving and accomplishing things at a very high rate, she couldn't think of anything past the image of Jane on her autopsy table which made her want to run and freeze all at the same time.

"I can't believe this is happening, I can't believe this is happening." She repeated as she collected her belongings and rushed to check out. She thought long distance was going to be hard, but nothing quite competed with this. The fact that she hadn't been contacted hadn't even crossed her mind until she was most way to the airport, and it tightened the knots in her stomach a little more. A day ago they were blissfully happy, cuddled on the couch whispering sweet nothings in each others ears and planting chaste kisses on each others lips. Now she was faced with the possibility of never seeing her Jane again.


	5. Dior

**Greetings to anyone who is still with this story. I'm extremely apologetic for the long hiatus, but I hope to be back to posting regularly. If you're still reading, I'm entirely grateful. **

* * *

Naturally the flight was a nightmare. It took her two hours to get on the next available flight back to Boston. Two hours of nauseating anxiety and constant shaky glances between news websites on her phone, and news programs on the big televisions in the waiting bays. She had never been so inpatient before in her life, nor had she experienced the feeling of constant and unwavering sickness. Maura hadn't felt so close to someone before, having had only a distant admiration for her parents and a very limited group of friends. As it was, everything she was feeling was quite foreign to her, and it scared her a little how quickly her calm and proper exterior could devolve into an anxious mess over one singular person. She tried to shake the nausea, but her body was having none of it. Her heart was sitting in her throat, thumping away and making it difficult to breathe. She was sure if anything happened to Jane, she'd throw it right up and that would be the end of her too.

It was only when she sat in the taxi outside the hospital, fumbling through her small sharp black handbag for payment for the patient driver in front, did she realise how little she had thought this through. Initially Jane's lack of willingness to confront her family about their - dare she call it - _relationship_hadn't been an issue. Maura was not the possessive kind of person, and she understood that telling her religious parents about a sudden relationship with another woman might not have necessarily gone down in Jane's favour. However, now it was presenting itself as a very big issue indeed. Swallowing her nerves, Maura stepped from the cab and threw an offhanded thank you over her shoulder. Her tall black heels clipped the tiles as she stepped through the large glass doors, the gush of cool chemical air making her feel a little less out of place. However there were very few scenarios running through her mind that left her by Jane's bedside with the detective's parents understanding. Stopping by the elevator doors, she thought it best to prepare herself. The fact was, she had never been a particularly good liar in any case, and there wasn't much she could say that would allow her even an update on Jane's status. Perhaps she could say she was a work colleague of the injured brunette, or a friend. The latter wasn't necessarily a lie and left less room for error, but Maura couldn't help but wonder if Jane's family would question how their daughter came to befriend someone from an obviously different social class. Something told her that Jane's family was much like Jane, compulsively angry over the wealthy and well-to-do of this world.

She had little time to ponder this thought as the elevator doors opened in front of her, and she unconsciously followed the swarm of doctors and civilians. Before she knew what had happened, the blonde was standing in front of the nurses station on the floor of the intensive care unit, seeking out the youngest, most naïve looking nurse. Her brilliant eyes locked on a young red head, with her long strands tied back into a failing pony tail. Stepping forward, Maura decided introducing herself with a formal title might better her chances.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Isles. I was hoping you could direct me toward a patient," she paused momentarily to look down at her phone, as if needing reminding of the name permanently drilled behind her eyes. "Sorry, a patient... Jane Rizzoli?" She even tried slightly botching the pronunciation of her detective's surname. The nurse contemplated this for a moment, turning her pale blue eyes to her computer screen. She seemed equal parts frazzled and tired, and her light makeup was fading to show through her light dusting of freckles.

"She's in room 117." Came her lax reply a moment later, and inwardly Maura was split between gratitude and worry that such information was handed out so readily and with little question.

There was an extra bounce of fear in her step as she tried to contain herself, walking with her arms rod straight by her sides. She wasn't entirely sure what she had been anticipating, but when she arrived at Jane's room, the door was wide open and the room empty save for the bed sheet pale brunette and the spectacular of flowers and vases sitting on every spare inch of non-medical equipment. A sigh of relief left the doctor's mouth instantly, silently pleased that there was no need for lies or introductions. Jane stirred, as if sensing another presence and Maura took this as her invitation to actually enter the room, still slightly unsure as to whether she was welcome in this environment. In that moment, there was nothing more terrifying than the prospect of walking in the room to be rejected by Jane.

The detective stirred again, and Maura couldn't shift her topaz-speckled eyes from her heavily bandaged shoulder and the steady rise and fall of her chest. An instant weight was lifted from her soul, and for the first time in a few hours, she could breathe without the fear of losing her stomach contents. She made her way over to the side of the tall hospital bed, her long delicate fingers resting on the rail. This was foreign territory and completely unlike the week they had spent together and the blonde wasn't entirely sure where she stood. To the best of her abilities, she pushed the nagging pessimistic voice to the side and focused on Jane. She was starch white and blended in with the course white hospital sheets. Her hair was mattered and splayed over the flat pillow, her right shoulder was wrapped tightly in bandage and there was a slow constant drip from the IV in her left arm. Maura reached out and danced her fingertips over Jane's uninjured arm, biting her lip in an effort to pull back her tears. Jane shifted again, her eyes opening only to flinch from the bright unfeeling lights. It took her a couple of minutes to adjust to the light, and then she was looking up at Maura with at first a hint on confusion, and then a lopsided grin. Her lips were cracked, and when her voice finally came, it was rough and dry.

"When did you get here?" She questioned, trying to shift back to sit up. Maura put out a hand to stop her movements.

"I saw you on the news, I-I didn't know if you were alive or not. I had to come." Her reply was quick, the words flowing from her with little warning.

Jane smiled again, clearing her throat. "Well I'm alive, and I'm glad you're here."

Maura sat by Jane's bedside for the better part of an hour, they talked quietly and Jane slipped in and out of consciousness. Maura had began to forget what she'd been so nervous about, because it was becoming apparent that regardless of whether they were hauled up in Jane's apartment, falling asleep over video chat, or sitting together in a hospital room, they were still Jane and Maura. That was until the door pushed open and a woman of about fifty came bumbling through with a large stuffed bear and a collection of helium balloons. Her voice was bright and a little on the shrill side.

"Janey, look what I got to make you feel better!" She didn't quite see Maura until she'd deposited the bear and balloons onto the end of her daughter's bed. The blonde quickly dropped Jane's hand and scooted back in a mix of horror and surprise.

"Ma!" Jane exclaimed as loudly as she could given her mouths current dryness. The older woman seemed taken aback to find someone else in the room, but introduced herself nonetheless.

"Oh I didn't see you there! I'm Angela," she paused, waiting for a return introduction.

The blonde, who was usually perfectly composed, stumbled over her words. "I-I'm Maura Isles. Jane's friend."

Angela smiled, seemingly content with her reply. "Oh how lovely."

Feeling extremely uncomfortable with the current situation, Maura stood and smoothed out her clothing before collecting her bag. "I had better go, I need to find a hotel and get myself settled." She turned her attention to Jane, and her face softened slightly. "I'm so glad you're alright."

Jane frowned and tiredly shook her head. "Stay at my apartment," it was more an order than an offer. "You can feed Jo-Friday." The latter part came with a cheeky grin, and Maura couldn't help but smile in return. Jane then turned to her mother. "Ma, give Maura the keys to my apartment."

"Jane!" Maura shrieked in a surprised whisper. "I'm sure being shot in the shoulder didn't impair the part of your brain that constructs polite requests." Jane couldn't help but smirk in reply.

Angela frowned at Jane's demand, only to lighten up with a laugh at Maura's bewildered statement. "See now," she pointed at Maura as she rummaged through her bag to collect Jane's apartment key. "I like this one already Janey, you could learn a thing or two from her."

Once through the threshold of Jane's apartment, Maura was greeted by the yappy little dog she'd spent the past two weeks cuddling with. Jo-Friday seemed excited to see her, and bounded with great enthusiasm around Maura's ankles as the doctor toed off her heels and placed her bag gently down by the door. For the second time that day she let out a sound of relief, her shoulders dropping as she made her way to the sofa. It had been overwhelming really, not just the shooting and her racing back to Boston. Their entire relationship had been questionably hectic from the beginning, and Maura couldn't help but wonder if her quest to meet someone online had really been a good one. This had without a doubt been one of the most stressful and unpredictable situations she'd ever found herself in, and if there was one thing the blonde prided herself on, it was her sense and predictability. For a long moment there was a strong instinct to flee now she knew Jane was going to be alright, and it was taking a great deal of effort to beat that instinct down. To be honest, in that moment she wasn't sure she'd be able to.


	6. Versace

Look at me go - two chapters in the space of a week. I'm sorry for any mistakes, and am grateful to you for sticking with me on this one. This is a short chapter, but there will be a bigger one shortly.

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As it turned out, the fatal shooting described by the news anchor nearly ten days ago hadn't been so catastrophic. Jane had responded well to the surgery, and luckily for her, the bullet had torn only muscle and a few minor arteries. Of course, she'd still require a few months of physiotherapy and her movement and strength may never be exactly what it was in that arm, but needless to say, she had been very fortunate indeed. Maura had only made two other trips to the hospital, and hadn't stayed very long. She was still shaken and unsure that she'd done the right thing in pursuing a relationship with a woman from another state, one who was seemingly personally reckless and her hyper opposite. It was a terrifying thought, and she was unsure if she should stay and graciously welcome the changes her personality was currently undertaking, or if she should save the person she'd always been and find someone who didn't seem to love her the way she was while also constantly pushing her from her comfort zone. Her days were spent in deep contemplation and sorrow, and when she received the text from Jane that she was being discharged tomorrow, she made up her mind. Maura had lost herself in the past few months; she'd gone from a renowned, predictable, intelligent medical examiner, to a bumbling anxious mess and cliche as it was, it was all over a romance. It tormented her, and the only solution she could find was to favor her flight instinct.

For the second time in as little as a week and a half, Maura found herself rushing to the airport in a whirlwind flurry, nauseated and heartbroken.

Jane returned home early on a Sunday morning. Traffic was minimal and her hair was a tangled, dirty mess. Although she'd spent the past week and a half in bed, both her body and mind were exhausted and her shoulder was still sending bolts of throbbing pain down her arm to the tips of her fingers. She was expecting to see Maura sitting in the living room when she pushed open her front door, but the only thing there to meet her was the fluffy white dog instantly by her feet. Unnerved, she checked each room cautiously and finished in the living room. There was no sign of the doctor, nor any of her possessions and for a moment Jane was nothing if not confused. The note on the coffee table had her heart picking up pace, and for the first time in a very long while, Jane realized she'd become reliant on someone other than herself. It took her fifteen minutes to talk herself into picking up the neatly hand-written letter, and five more to actually read it.

_Dear Jane,_

_I'm sorry I couldn't be here when you got home. I can't describe how much of a relief it is to know you're healthy and on the way to recovery. I'm not usually so unreliable – this whole situation was unlike anything I've had to deal with before. You know me better than anyone, and that in itself is unnerving. I've never really had a friend before, and I've never experienced this concept of being best friends with someone I'm also in love with. Yes, I love you, and that thought is so terrifying that I couldn't be here when you were discharged. I'm sorry that this all makes very little sense, I've never been lost for words. You seem to be a group of firsts for me, Jane Rizzoli._

_Maura_

It was a mess of eloquence and hurt, and Jane didn't comprehend it. How could she be told she's loved in the same letter that then goes on to apologize for leaving? It angered her to know that this had happened, that her odd concoction of carelessness and bravery at work had resulted in the almost certain loss of the first person she'd truly fallen in love with. She'd certainly come home in pain, but she'd been _happy _which was a foreign enough feeling to begin with. Although now, Jane could confirm without any doubt at all that the gratitude for life had evaporated with her apparent heart upon reading the letter. Her first instinct was to hit something, which wasn't wise given her current situation. The only other thing she could think to do - which she definitely didn't have the courage to - was to text the woman who had - perhaps unknowingly - ripped out her heart and stomped it into the earth. Jo-Friday danced around her feet and Jane sat down carefully on the sofa, running her good hand through the soft white fur. For someone who rarely cried, Jane was on the verge of tears, sitting alone on her sofa with a gaping hole running through a large muscle in her shoulder.

The first two days alone out of the hospital passed tormentingly slow, and even though she'd been surrounded by family and the odd caring colleague, she still felt painfully alone. There had been no word from Maura, and even though Jane had been online every waking minute, the doctors little icon never lit up. The pain in her shoulder had intensified, and it seemed that no level of pain killer would sort it out, but that was nothing compared to the confusion and hurt that still lingered in the pit of her stomach. Maura had been unlike anyone she'd ever met, and while at times she could be frustratingly rational, she was also a deeply warm person with a big heart despite her distant parents and lack of friends. That was what probably hurt Jane the most, the lack of understanding on how a woman who was so lovely and sweet could hurt her so intricately, with nothing more than a confusing letter and her impromptu disappearance.

It wasn't until later that night, after her mother had left and she had drank a dinner consisting mostly of beer and one or two pain pills, Jane was left with a phone in her hand and a little liquid courage. She contemplated dialing Maura's number, but decided it would be too easy for the blonde to decline her call or block her number. Instead she opted for a text message, and for a very long time she sat there contemplating what to write. Did she express her anger and her hurt at having been left so quickly? She was worried if she sent her first angry thought, it would push Maura away forever. In the end, she sent off five words that brought back the well of tears she'd managed to keep at bay until now.

_I'm sorry, I love you._

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\- Please don't hate Maura, she's a scared little bird.


End file.
